


Take a Chance on Me

by castles_and_crowns



Series: Honey, I'm Still Free [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Minor Angst, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24714031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castles_and_crowns/pseuds/castles_and_crowns
Summary: Rey hates watching her best friend/roommate Ben go on date after date with no success. Eventually, she decides to do something about it.Or, 5 bad dates + 1 good one.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Honey, I'm Still Free [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1786807
Comments: 125
Kudos: 225





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Phew. It's been awhile. Posting again feels weird.
> 
> I want to preface this fic by saying that truthfully I just wanted to write something that I already knew how to write because I'm also working on something much more difficult that hasn't yet been posted. I wanted to be able to use this fic as a break from the difficult writing; thus, this fic was born. It is VERY similar to my other fic "If You Change Your Mind (I'm the First in Line)" in many ways, though the roles are reversed, meaning this takes place in a different "universe."
> 
> Hopefully despite the similarities you'll still enjoy this version. And hopefully the writing is slightly better than it was nearly two years ago :)
> 
> Happy reading!

When Rey Niima gets home Friday evening, it’s to an empty apartment. Her roommate and longtime best friend, Ben Solo, is nowhere to be found.

“Well,” she mumbles to herself, dropping her keys in the glass bowl by the door and slipping off her patent leather navy flats. “It’s Friday night. There’s one guess as to where he is.”

_On a date._

It must have been last minute thing because they saw each other earlier that as Rey had been leaving for work and Ben had been returning from his morning run.

_“Spelling Bee today, right?” Ben had commented, pulling off his sleeveless shirt and wiping his brow with it._

_They’d lived together for three years now and she’d seen him shirtless countless times, but it still threw her for a moment even after all this time._

_“That’s right!” she’d exclaimed, as she packed her planner and a handful of folders into the canvas tote bag that read Miss Niima. It had been a gift from one of her students after her first year of teaching three years prior._

_“Have a favorite to win?” Ben had asked. He made his way into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge._

_She loved how he was invested in her classroom activities and even knew so many of their names._

_“Sara, probably,” she had answered with fond exasperation._

_Her little third grade student Sara was way too smart for her own good, often annoying the other children with her genius. Rey had suggested to Sara’s mother that she look into an accelerated school, but the mom had vehemently refused, claiming that Sara needed to remain around normal kids._

_“And who’s the underdog?”_

_“Brian, for sure. Smart kid, but he gets nervous under pressure.”_

_“I’ll be rooting for Brian then.”_

_Rey had laughed. “You won’t even be there.”_

_He’d begun to walk to their shared bathroom for his shower but had turned and grinned at her. “I’ll be there in spirit.”_

_“Well, I’ll be sure to let you know the winner when I get home this afternoon.”_

_“I can’t wait.”_

No talk of dates, just a third-grade spelling bee.

But lately, Ben has been going on a lot of dates. They rarely lead to a second one, and he never takes any of the women back to the apartment, but he's certainly spending a lot of time—and money, Rey thinks—taking women out to movies, restaurants, and bars.

***

Rey is curled into a ball on her side—the left side—of the couch, half asleep, with an old fleece blanket completely draped over her body. She doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but she does and remains that way until Ben comes home, waking her up as his keys unlock the door.

She slowly opens her eyes and turns to the door, seeing Ben, well dressed in slim black jeans and a well-fitted maroon sweater, enter their apartment.

“Hey,” she greets sleepily. “Where were you?”

“A date,” he answers, grimacing.

She chuckles as she motions for him to join her on the couch.

“Bad?”

Ben collapses on the couch, leaning forward and putting his head in his hands. Through a mumbled voice, he says, “Rey, I accidentally asked out an undergrad!”

“ _What?”_

“I obviously didn’t realize she was an undergrad when I asked her out,” he says, lifting his head. “She was hanging out in the grad student lounge, and we got to talking.”

Rey shakes her head. “Ben, how long have you been a grad student as CSU? Three years, right? And how many times have you complained about the fact that undergrads are always in the grad student lounge?”

Ben looks sheepish.

“I know. I’m an idiot,” he groans.

Rey puts a comforting arm on his shoulder. “I made brownies earlier. Would you like one?”

“ _Please_.”

Rey chuckles and rises from the couch, heading toward their kitchen.

“So, what happened exactly?” she asks, grabbing a plate and a glass from the cabinet.

“Well, as we’ve established: I’m an idiot. I made the mistake of not asking her anything about what she was studying back in the lounge. So, we sit down for dinner at Ralph’s, and the first thing I ask is who her advisor is.”

Rey listens as she places two chocolate brownies on the ceramic plate and then opens the fridge to get the jug of milk.

“She was confused, saying she’s only ever met with her academic advisor during the first semester of her freshman year. So. I said, _Wait, what year of grad school are you in?_ And she blushed and told me she was sophomore getting her undergraduate degree.”

Rey snorts as she pours the milk. “Shit.”

“Yeah, so then I spent the rest of the date on edge, obviously. I mean, I don’t teach or T.A. any of her classes, but still. I might at some point, you know? And Ralph’s is a popular place, and I was afraid someone I knew was going to see us.”

“Well, that’ll teach you to ask some random girl out in the grad lounge during the third week of school,” she tells him as she carries the plate and glass back to the couch and hands it to him.

“Yes, it will. Thanks.”

He places the glass on the coffee table in front of him while keeping the plate in his lap. He takes a bite of one of the brownies and immediately hums in satisfaction and lifts his hand up, giving her a thumb’s up.

“Thanks,” she answers. “So, the girl. Did she realize you were uncomfortable?”

“Yes,” Ben says, while chewing. “Which I think made it worse.”

“God, that sucks.”

He swallows. “Yeah, tell me about it. Worst date I’ve ever been on. And that’s saying a lot.”

Rey sits back on the couch and re-covers herself with her blanket. “Yeah, you’ve definitely had some stinkers lately. Want to make it better with a movie? _Superbad,_ maybe?”

“Gladly,” Ben says, going for the second brownie. "Oh, hey! Who won the spelling bee?"

"Brian!"

Ben fist pumps into the air, and Rey laughs fondly at his reaction.

Once they’ve settled into the film, Rey carefully looks over at Ben to find him engrossed in the movie, despite the fact that he’s seen it a million times. Feeling a little bold and taking a chance, she scoots closer to him and drops her head on his shoulder. In response, Ben hums, seemingly content, and adjusts Rey’s blanket so that is better covers both of them.

She doesn’t do this all the time, knowing if she did, she’d likely give herself away. No, Rey has to choose her moments wisely, and she chooses moments like tonight where her cuddling could come off as simply comforting.

An undetermined amount of time later, she wakes up to the music of the DVD menu screen. Lifting her head from Ben’s shoulder, she looks to find him also asleep, his face always so much softer in sleep than in wakefulness.

Smiling to herself and willing her fast-beating heart to calm back down, she returns her head to his shoulder, closes her eyes, and quickly falls back asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

“Do you have Bumble?” Ben asks Rey one Thursday night not long after the undergrad incident while they’re sitting at the small breakfast bar, him eating dinner and her grading math quizzes.

Rey snorts at the absurdity of his question. “Ben, you know me better than that.”

He shrugs defensively. “I thought you might have warmed up to the idea! I mean, you haven’t been on a date in eight months? A year?”

Now, it’s her turn to be defensive. “I’m picky, that’s all.”

“But you’ve got to put yourself out there, right?”

“Ben,” she groans, wanting to move the focus of this conversation back to him. “Why are you asking me about Bumble?”

“I think I’m going to download the app.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not? Hux and Poe are both on it. They have good things to say about it.”

“But neither actually have girlfriends, right?”

“Not yet. But Hux has been seeing the same woman he met on there for, like, a month now, so they’ll probably be official soon.”

Rey hums, returning her eyes to her quizzes.

She genuinely doesn’t get Ben’s _need_ to constantly be dating. And it’s not like he has problems meeting women organically, so she really doesn’t understand why he needs to join a dating app.

“Anyway,” he continues. “I was wondering if you might help me make my profile?”

Something sharp and painful shoots through her chest and she works to keep her face neutral as she looks back up at him.

“Why?”

“Because you’re a girl—a _woman_ —and you know what women like, what would get their attention.”

Rey quirks an eyebrow, trying not to outright scowl. “I know what all women like, do I?”

Immediately, Ben flushes and Rey can see in his eyes that he’s said something he shouldn’t. Truthfully, she’s really not even actually angry with what he said; she’s just annoyed, so she wants to give him a hard time.

“Well, obviously not all women. And I would never make you if you didn’t want to, but I just thought—”

She sighs and, against her better judgment, says, “I’ll help you, Ben. I was just messing with you.”

His face immediately lights up, and they soon get to work on creating the perfect profile.

***

He matches with someone, and she messages him almost immediately after.

Her name is Katherine. She is a gorgeous, tall, athletically built woman who apparently loves to go apple-picking in the fall and canoeing in the spring and summer. Rey is right at Ben’s side on the couch as he chats with the woman and they make plans for drinks the next day.

***

“Look good?” Ben asks, emerging from his room Friday evening, dressed for his date.

Rey looks him up and down from where she sits on the couch. He’s sporting nice jeans, a gray t-shirt, and navy blazer, and his black hair is coiffed in perfect, shiny waves. He looks good, alright. 

_Damn good._

She swallows hard. “Yeah, you look nice.”

“Not too fancy for drinks at The Clubhouse?”

“I don’t think so.”

He nods, his face awash with relief.

“You’re actually nervous, aren’t you?”

Ben comes to join her on the couch, sitting on the edge of it. “Kinda, yeah.”

“You don’t even really know her yet though.”

“Well, no, but I’d like to. She seemed really cool when we texted like night.”

She meets his eyes. “I’m sure you’ll have a good time. You’re a great guy. The best guy I know, that’s for sure. She’s bound to like you.”

Ben takes a deep breath, and it’s obvious that he’s still a little nervous. “Thank you, Rey.”

He stands from the couch, walks to her, and bends over to plant a quick kiss on her forehead. When he rises back to his full height, he just sort of stands there for a moment, clearly looking he wants to say something else. He sort of teeters back and forth on his heels, looking bashful and uncertain.

“What?” Rey asks, heart beating fast from just a simple forehead kiss and hoping against hope that he's going to say _something_ that changes everything.

Shaking his head, Ben clears his throat. “Nothing. Just, um, don’t wait up for me tonight.”

_Oh._

“Oh.” Her eyes go big and she nods. “Okay, got it.”

A little pink in the face, he smiles shyly before glancing at his watch.

“I’m going to head out, I think. Don’t want to be late.”

“Of course. Have fun.”

“I will,” he answers, grinning.

***

Unable to help herself, Rey does wait up. Or at least, she attempts to. Deep down, she knows it’s probably pointless. Ben was so excited about this date. He looked good, and she’s sure _Katherine_ looks good too. There was no way he’d be coming home tonight. She tries her best not to let the thoughts infiltrate her mind of what he might be doing with the apple-picking, canoe-paddling super model, so she gets to work on the bottle of cheap wine she’d bought last week at the grocery.

Just as she’s finishing up her third glass, her eyelids begin to droop. Sighing, she glances at her phone and finds it be just pass midnight.

_Yeah, he’s not coming home._

Rey raises the wine glass to her lips and gulps down what’s left of it. She gets up, heading to the kitchen to put the glass in the sink, finding herself a little wobbly on her feet. She then nearly loses her balance and falls when she hears the door open.

Rey grabs the counter for balance and turns, fully expecting to see Ben walk in with beautiful Katherine on his arm, but what she sees instead is Ben, looking disheveled and sporting a freshly bruised eye.

Immediately, she lets go of the counter and hustles over to him, balance be damned.

“What happened?”

He shakes his head and runs a hand through his no longer perfectly styled hair.

“What happened, Ben?” she asks again, reaching up to gently run her fingers along the border of his bruise.

“I’m an idiot,” he says miserably.

“You’re not.”

“Yeah, well, I feel like one,” he answers, bitter. “I was so excited, and for what?”

“For what, Ben? What happened,” she asks a third time.

He takes her hand from where it rests on his face and runs his thumb over the back of it, before bringing both of their hands down and leading her to the couch. She lets him do all of this, all the while refusing to take her eyes off of him.

“The night started off great,” Ben begins once they’re settled. “She was so great—funny, smart, and beautiful obviously. We sat at the bar for hours just talking and it seemed like we never ran out of things to say. Then at some point, I asked if she wanted another drink, and she said she did, but that she’d like to have it back at her place.”

Rey inhales sharply unable to help herself.

“So, I drove us back to her place, and we obviously forgo any drinks and head straight to her bedroom. And we get going and it’s amazing, and then all of a sudden, I hear the front door open.”

“What the hell?”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. It seems, Katherine failed to tell me she still lives with her ex.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Yeah,” he huffs. “She thought he wasn’t going to be home tonight, but obviously that turned out not to be the case. So Katherine gets out of bed to quickly shut her door, but her ex sees her and barges through the bedroom. He clearly wasn’t too happy about her moving on so fast.”

He motions to the bruise around his eye.

“Shit. So, he hit you?”

“He hit me,” Ben confirms. “I tried to even the game, but Katherine jumped in front of me and said she thought it’d be best if I just went home. So now I’m here. Home again.”

He shrugs his shoulders, playing at a lightness she knows he doesn’t feel.

“I’m so sorry that happened, Ben. Let me get you so ice for that, yeah?”

He gingerly reaches up and touches his eye before wincing. “Yeah, that’d be good. Thank you.”

She hurriedly grabs the icepack she keeps in the fridge for when she gets headaches and brings it back over to Ben, who immediately covers his eye with it.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, sounding so heartbreakingly dejected.

“Did you want to stay up and watch a movie or something?” she asks.

He rises from the couch, barely meeting her eye. “Nah, I think I’m just going to head to bed. Thanks for the ice.”

Rey frowns, getting the feeling he’s avoiding her but also understanding his need to be alone right now.

“Okay, well, good night,” she says softly.

“Night,” he says, turning around and going to his room.

Rey hangs back in the living room for a few more minutes before finally heading to bed herself. As she passes Ben’s room, she suddenly hears a muffled _thump_ , as if Ben just punched his bed or pillow. In that moment, she wants nothing more than to open that door, go in there, pull Ben into his arms and hold him until he falls asleep. But, of course, she doesn’t. They may sort of cuddle on the couch from time to time, but they’ve never gotten in bed together.

Instead, Rey continues on to her room and sends up a prayer that Ben will be okay in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you (hopefully) next Sunday!


	3. Chapter 3

Rey is not sure how she ended up in a crowded bar on a Wednesday night, dressed in one of her “going out” dresses, and surrounded by single people.

Actually, no. She knows exactly how she ended up here: _Ben_. Ben had convinced her to come to singles’ night at this rooftop bar that he’d previously been to a few times with Poe and Hux. She hadn’t wanted to go, obviously, insisting that he didn’t need her to go out and meet women, but he’d held fast, claiming they’d look out for each other in case anyone they talked to wound up being particularly irritating or creepy.

Sighing and wanting to make her best friend happy, she’d agreed.

Currently, she’s talking to a guy, a lawyer named Phil, who is telling her about the case he just won in court earlier today. He’s handsome—exceptionally so—but he’s also extremely self-centered and hasn’t asked her one question about herself, other than her name and what she does for a living, in the twenty minutes they’ve been talking.

Because Phil is so self-absorbed, she’s able to glance over at Ben occasionally, and, of course, she finds him enthralled in conversation with a petite red head. He meets her eyes at one point, giving her an infinitesimal smile, before returning his attention back to the girl with whom he’s talking.

“Uh, Rey?” Phil says, breaking her away from her thoughts on Ben.

“Oh, sorry. Yes?”

“I asked if you wanted another drink or…”

Rey plasters on her politest smile and shakes her head.

“No, thank you. I think I’m going to run to the ladies’ room and then check in with my friend.”

It’s clear Phil is disappointed, but he nods and smiles, accepting her answer for what it is and, thankfully, not trying to convince her otherwise.

Rey quickly thanks him once more before weaving her way through the crowd to the women’s restroom in the corner. Shockingly, there’s no line, so she quickly pees, washes her hands, and then sends Ben a text.

_How’s it going?_

He answers almost instantly: _Going okay. I got two girls’ numbers, but I’m not sure if I’ll bother calling._

Rey groans. She loves Ben, but he doesn’t realize the way the things he says sound sometimes.

Before she can type out a reply, he sends another text: _Want to regroup at the bar for a few minutes?_

She agrees to his plan and exits the bathroom, making her way to the bar. Ben leans against the polished wood top of the bar and when he spots her, he smiles that heartbreakingly crooked smile.

“Hey,” she sighs, exhausted by the effort she’s had to put in this evening, knowing it’ll all be for nothing.

“Hey, I’m Ben,” he replies, his smile turning into something more akin to a smirk.

Her brow furrows in confusion for a few moments, and he chuckles.

“You look like you’re having a rough go of it tonight. Can I buy you a drink?”

“Uh, sure,” she answers, still bewildered.

“Great. What’ll you have?”

“Ben,” she says. “You know my go-to is a Moscow mule. Why are you being weird?”

"I’m not being weird,” he insists, half of his attention on her and the other half on the bartender. “I just wanted to buy a drink for this pretty girl I just met at the bar.”

“Oh, is this some weird roleplay thing? Ben, I love you, but—”

Ben snorts. “I never caught your name?”

Rey rolls her eyes but decides to play along, providing him with the whole spiel.

“My name is Rey. I’m twenty-six years old, and I teach third grade. I love to run and have been training for my first marathon. I live with my best friend, and I’d really love to get a cat soon.”

He chuckles at the cat comment. She’s been begging him to let her adopt a cat for months, but he refuses to have one in the apartment.

The bartender comes over to Ben, he quickly orders, and then he returns his full attention to her.

“Well, like I said, I’m Ben. And I’ll be twenty-seven on Halloween. I’m a grad student working on my Ph.D. in developmental psychology, and in my very limited free time, I like to read books about World War II.”

Rey, who obviously knows all of this, laughs.

“Oh, and I’m absolutely not a cat person.”

Rey sighs dramatically. “Well, this is definitely not going to go anywhere then.”

Ben’s smirk melts back into a true smile and he reaches out to rub her bare arm. “Okay, for real though, how’s it going?”

“Eh.”

“Just ‘eh?’”

“Yeah, I’ve talked to a few nice guys, I guess, but I’m not sure they’re my type.”

“What is your type?” he asks, quirking an eyebrow.

_You_ , Rey thinks.

At that moment, the bartender sets their drinks out before them, and Rey is saved from having to give a carefully constructed answer.

She shrugs non-committedly. “I’m not sure. I guess I’ll know it when I see it.”

Ben hums thoughtfully as he takes his first sip of his IPA.

“So, were you thinking of maybe leaving soon?” she asks.

Ben puts a hand to his chest, a faux scandalized expression on his face. “Rey, we’ve only just met and you’re ready to take me home!”

“ _Ben_ ,” Rey groans, playfully smacking his arm.

He cackles and she drinks in the dimples on his face as he says, “Alright, alright. You really want to head out soon though?”

“I don’t know, maybe? I just haven’t met any interesting people, and neither have you, right? You said you got numbers from some girls, but you’re not going to call them, didn’t you?”

“All the more reason to stay—oh, my God!”

His voice, which had started at a normal level, drops to an excited whisper as his eyes look at something past Rey.

“What?” she asks, looking behind her. She has no idea what he’s so excited about all of a sudden. “What is it?”

“See that girl? The short one in the maroon dress with the straight black hair?”

Rey’s eyes scan the crowd before landing on the woman to whom Ben is referring.

“Yeah. Who is she?”

“That’s Baz,” he says in almost a wonder, much to her annoyance.

“Who is _Baz_?”

We went to boarding school together,” he answers, and then to himself, he mutters, “What the hell is she doing _here?_ ”

“I mean, Coruscant’s a big city, right? Tons of people come from all over to live here.”

“I guess,” he says, though it’s clear he’s not really listening to her. “Shit, she hasn’t changed at all.”

“Were you guys, like, high school sweethearts or something?”

_This_ draws Ben’s attention back to her, and he snorts incredulously at her question.

“Yeah, right. Rey, you’ve been to my house. You’ve seen the pictures of high school me that my mom has on the mantle. I was not on her radar at _all_.”

“So, will she even remember you if you talk to her?”

“Maybe not, but I have to try. I mean, I’ve come a long way since that lanky kid with the bad haircut that's sitting on my mom’s mantle.”

_Yes, you have_ , she thinks to herself.

“Are you good though? Did you need to head out?”

Rey shrugs. “I’ll let you know if I decide to leave early. For now, I’ll enjoy my free drink.”

She raises her glass to him, and he chuckles. “You’re the best, Rey.”

"Yeah, whatever,” she says fondly, purposefully ignoring the twinge of pain in her chest. “Good luck.”

Ben dips his head in a small bow before raising his own glass. “Thanks. Good luck to you too.”

***

She does wind up taking a Lyft and is already in her pajamas, making a late-night batch of cookies by the time Ben gets home at a little past eleven.

“I take it your reunion went well, then?” she comments, intently focused on stirring the cookie dough in the bowl in front of her.

Ben winces. “At first. Actually, for most of the time we were talking, yeah.”

“What happened?”

“Turns out she was just there for moral support for a girl friend of hers. She’s got a fiancé back in Chandrila. They’re long distance right now, but he’ll be joining her here in the next few months.”

"And it took her that long to mention she had a fiancé?”

Ben shrugs, though it’s obvious he’s a little stung.

“It ultimately doesn’t matter, does it?”

“Guess not,” she says, eyes meeting his for the first time since he’s been home.

“And obviously, no such luck for you either?”

“None.”

He shakes his head, a little exasperated and a little fond. “I can’t believe you sometimes Rey. You’re fun, you’re smart, and you’re beautiful, and you mean to tell me that you didn’t talk to one guy you might be interested in?”

_Well, there was one_ , Rey thinks wistfully, her gaze breaking from Ben’s and returning to the dough in front of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter doesn't feel like it ends too abruptly. I hate writing the ends of things lol.
> 
> See you next week! <3


	4. Chapter 4

Ben has been talking about his upcoming date since he made the plans four days earlier, and tonight Rey’s not sure whether she’s feeling more dread or relief that it’s finally here.

At Ben’s gentle request, Rey had made plans with Rose and Finn tonight so that Ben could have the apartment to himself for him and his date. Apparently, she’s a foodie, so Ben’s plan is to cook for her. Never mind the fact that Rey is the one that does the majority of the cooking between the two of them, which is why another request he’d asked of her was for her to go shopping for groceries with him the evening before.

_You need to establish some boundaries_ , she’d chided herself immediately after agreeing.

At the grocery store, he had droned on and on like he had all week about how excited he was for the following night. It was his third date with this girl, Melody, and he really thought they’d hit it off. And though it hurt, Rey had to admit that he talked about Melody in a way that was different.

Then, as they were loading the groceries into the trunk of her car, Ben turned to her with a nervous expression painted on his ever-expressive face.

“What?” Rey had asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I know this is a lot to ask, but…is there any way you could talk to Rose and Finn about staying at their place tomorrow night?”

Rey had taken a step back. “What?”

“I just…” Ben had trailed off for a moment, looking shy. “I’m just hoping tomorrow’s going to go well, and if it does, I thought it’d be best if we had the apartment to ourselves for the _whole_ night.”

Maybe she was being overly sensitive because of her personal feelings, but the idea of her being kicked out of her own apartment so that Ben could possibly have sex _infuriated_ her.

“So, you’re saying that any time you want to have sex with a girl I have to be out of the apartment?”

His face has gone as red as her car. “No, no, no. Obviously not. I just meant tonight. Since it would be, you know, the first time for us and all.”

Rey had crossed her arms, unimpressed with his explanation.

“I mean, you totally don’t have to,” he backtracked. “But I thought you’d prefer it that way too.”

Rey didn’t bother to hide her groan as she grabbed the last bag of groceries from their basket, put it in the trunk, and shut the door.

“That’s fine, Ben,” she’d said, sounding as defeated as she felt. “I’ll call Rose when we get home.”

She’d felt his eyes on her, studying her, perhaps trying to _decipher_ her, the entire way home, but she didn’t acknowledge his gaze.

They didn’t really speak the rest of the night, and they don’t really speak that morning, except when she tells him that she’s made plans to stay with Rose and Finn.

He showers her in _thank you_ s, and she accepts them with only a minimal smile and a half-hearted _you’re welcome._

By the time evening rolls around, Rey is itching to get out the house. She hears the soft rock music Ben has playing in their living room and she smells the delicious meatballs and spaghetti he’s been working on from her room as she finishes up packing her overnight bag, and she can’t help but grumble to herself at this situation.

But then she hears a knock on the door, which startles her out of her annoyed thoughts, and a second later, Ben is at her bedroom door, looking both excited and anxious.

“Hey, so I think Melody’s here a little early.”

Rey nods, trying not to be a brat. “I’m just finishing packing and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

She returns to her overnight bag, but she can still feel his eyes on her.

“Rey? You’re not mad at me, are you?”

“No,” she sighs. And really, she’s not mad. His request, she admits to herself, isn’t that outlandish. It just _hurts._ And Ben going on a date hasn’t hurt this much in a while.

He exhales in relief. “Okay, good. Thanks again.”

There’s another knock at the door.

“You should get that,” Rey tells him. “It’s rude to keep her waiting.”

“You’re right.”

He turns to leave her room, and before she can think better of it, she calls out to him.

His eyes are bright and a little expectant. “Yeah?”

“Have fun tonight…and good luck.”

A devastatingly crooked grin spreads across his face.

“You’re the best, Rey. Thank _you_.”

A few minutes later when she’s done packing, she comes out of her room, overnight bag in her hand, and is quickly introduced to Melody, who Ben must have briefed because she doesn’t seem weirded out about Ben living with another woman.

After very brief introductions, Rey bids them farewell and exits the apartment. The minute the door is shut and locked behind her, tears spring from her eyes, and she tries to flush all thoughts about the activities they may partake in tonight out of her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this wasn't a bad date for Ben, technically, but it hurt Rey, so it's bad in that sense.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Last week was crazy busy. Tbh, I wasn't 100% sure I was going to finish this in time, but thankfully I did.

“Can I ask you a question?” Melody asks Rey one morning as they both sit at the breakfast bar eating the eggs and bacon Ben had made before dashing off to his room for some last-minute packing.

Melody’s become a regular house guest over the four months. At first, Rey hated it, and while she still doesn’t like it for her own selfish reasons, she finds she doesn’t mind it quite as much because Melody’s actually a pretty nice woman. When she’s at their apartment, she seems to go out of her way to not step on Rey’s toes, even going so far as to make sure Rey doesn’t feel like the third wheel when the three of them are watching a movie or playing a board game together in the living room. She even offered to set Rey up with one of her friends, but Rey had politely turned her down on that one.

“Sure, what’s up?” Rey responds, mouth full of scrambled egg.

In a lower voice, Melody says, “Have you and Ben ever…”

“Ever?” Rey repeats, brow furrowed.

Lowering her voice even more, she clarifies, “Ever hooked up?”

Rey’s hazel eyes go wide at the question. “What? No!”

Clearly relieved, Melody’s face relaxes. “Okay, I didn’t think so. I guess I was just curious. I mean, you two are so close…and you _do_ live together.”

“No, no,” Rey shakes her head. “Trust me, _that_ has never happened.”

Melody smiles. “Okay.”

Rey nods, and for a moment, they return to their breakfasts. But then a thought strikes Rey and she asks, “Why didn't you ask Ben that question?”

Melody puts down her fork and turns to Rey, wincing guilty. “I did actually. But he got all flustered and started stuttering, and I didn’t really believe him.”

_So much for trust being the foundation of any relationship_ , Rey thinks.

“He probably was just caught off guard,” Rey defends. “Trust me, that’s not who we are to each other.”

“I believe you,” Melody says. She then puts her hand on top of Rey’s. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

Ben exits his room, not a minute later, carrying a small suitcase and a carry-on bag.

“How long until everyone’s ready?” he asks.

“Ten minutes?” Rey suggests.

“That should work for me,” Melody adds.

This morning Rey is driving them to the airport, as they are going to Melody’s parents’ house for a long weekend. This will be Ben’s first time meeting her parents, something he’s expressed to Rey in confidence that he’s been very anxious about.

“Parents love you,” she’d told him.

“How do you know parents love me?” he’d countered, wringing his hands in his lap.

Rey had chuckled and shrugged. “Well, Maz loves you.”

Maz, Rey’s former foster mom, had adored Ben from the moment she meant him and over the years, she kept slyly telling Rey how they’d make such a brilliant couple. Swallowing her pain each time, Rey would inform her that it just wasn’t like that between them. To that, Maz had only groaned and rolled her eyes.

“That’s one parent at least,” Ben had replied before Rey had playfully punched him.

***

She can’t decide if she likes having the apartment to herself. With Ben not home, she’s free to walk around without pants on, she can leave the bathroom door open when she pees, and she doesn’t have to worry about Ben coming up behind her to constantly tidy up her messes. But at the same time, she misses his presence. Things are so quiet without him around.

It occurs to her then that there is a possibility, perhaps in the not so distant future, of Ben moving out so that he and Melody can live together. The thought makes her stomach churn, and she does her best to shake it from her head as she resumes her lesson planning for next month.

Her concentration breaks when her phone vibrates bedside her on the couch. Glancing down, she’s surprised to see that it’s Ben.

“Hey!” she greets, keeping her voice breezy. “Having a good time?”

There’s a brief pause and then, “Rey, I need you to pick me up from the airport tomorrow morning. I get in at 9:20.”

“Tomorrow is Sunday though. You guys aren’t getting back until Monday?”

“I’m coming home.”

His voice is tight, Rey can tell. Because of this, she uses her most delicate voice when she asks her next question.

“With Melody?”

“No.”

Rey inhales a sharp breath and then says, “Okay. I’ll be there at 9:20 then.”

He sounds defeated when he replies, “Thanks, Rey.”

“Of course, Ben. Have a safe flight.”

***

The following morning, Rey gets to the airport and hangs out by the baggage claim as she waits for Ben’s plane to land.

She gets a text from him, saying he just touched down, and she somewhat anxiously makes her way past baggage claim over to the escalators that Ben will be coming down on.

She keeps her eyes peeled for him, scanning the crowds of people coming down the escalators, and because Ben is so tall, she spots him almost instantly. His eyes lock with hers, and the corners of his mouth lift up into a small smile, but Rey knows Ben well enough to know it’s forced.

She quickly walks toward the bottom of the escalator gets there just as he is getting off.

“Hi,” she greets gently.

“Hey,” he replies, his dark eyes so obviously sad. “Thanks for picking me up.”

“Of course,” she says, patting his bicep.

She doesn’t want to stop at a quick pat. She wants to fully wrap her arms around him and squeeze him tight. He looks like he needs it. But before she fully decides if hugging him is the right choice for this moment, he walks away from her and towards the luggage carousel, having spotted his bag.

After, they walk to the car in silence. There are so many questions Rey has, but she doesn’t want to push Ben for answers until he is ready.

When they’re finally in the car and on the road, Ben lets out a massive, shuddery sigh.

“We broke up,” he says.

Rey could have guessed, but she remains silent and only nods in response, keeping her eyes on the road in front of them.

“I was right about her parents. They didn’t like me.”

“ _What_?” Rey exclaims, unable to hide the surprise in her voice.

“Well, I guess technically, they don’t have a problem with me. They have a problem with my mom.”

_That_ pulls Rey’s attention from the road. “Wait, seriously?”

“Her parents don’t agree with my mom’s politics. And they weren’t shy about letting me know.”

This is something Rey just cannot comprehend. Senator Organa is Rey’s hero. Throughout her entire political career, she’s fought for the underdog, and Rey, having been an underdog for most of her life, will always be grateful for the work the senator did on behalf of people like her.

“It started off sort of playful, but as the weekend went on, they kept harping on it. And the worst part was that Melody did nothing to stop it. She just let them talk shit about my mom.”

Rey’s mostly goodwill toward Melody vanishes instantly.

“Last night, before I called you, we got into a big fight. She refused to stand up to her parents and insisted that what her parents were saying wasn’t personal. So, I bought a ticket home.”

“I’m so sorry, Ben,” Rey says softly, her heart aching for him.

He shrugs, clearly trying to be cavalier about the situation. “Whatever. There’s always more fish in the sea, right?”

It’s the cliché expression that confirms to Rey that Ben is absolutely not okay right now.

Once they they’ve exited the interstate, Rey asks if he wants to stop for brunch somewhere.

“I really just want to go home, take a hot shower, and nap for a bit.”

Rey nods, understanding. “Okay. Home, it is.”

Ben immediately goes to the bathroom to shower once they’re home. While he’s in there, Rey paces the kitchen, looking through the sparse pantry and even sparser refrigerator, trying to brainstorm something to cook them for lunch. Finally, she decides to just order them Chinese takeout.

She goes to the bathroom and knocks on the door, wanting to ensure Chinese is a good option for lunch. The water is no longer running, so she figures he must be close to done.

“Ben?” she calls, knocking on the door.

He doesn’t answer.

She calls his name out a little louder, and still, he doesn’t answer.

“Ben, are you okay?”

When there’s still silence, a panicky feeling spikes in her gut and she decides to open the door.

“I’m coming in, okay?” she says, slowly turning the knob of the bathroom door.

At this point, she’s unsurprised when there’s no answer.

What she sees when she opens the bathroom door, splits her heart in two.

Ben is leaning against counter, palms gripping the marble, shoulders hunched and head hanging low. With his long, wet hair in his face, she can’t see his eyes, but she can hear a quiet sniffle now that there’s no door separating them.

“I’m fine,” he says gruffly, not turning to look at her.

“You’re not,” she responds plainly.

Gingerly, she steps up to him and stands to his side. She puts her hand over one of his, still holding tight to the marble counter.

“Is it ever going to happen for me?” he asks, sounding so broken. “I put myself out there. I go on all of these dates. And I keep on thinking one of these women has to be the right one. But they never are. And I’m _exhausted_ from it all.”

“Ben—”

“I think you had the right idea,” he says, cutting her off. “You don’t date, so you don’t come home at the end of the night disappointed, or worse, heartbroken.”

_I’m heartbroken every day_ , she wants to tell him. Instead, she replies, “ _No._ No, I’m a coward. You’re brave for putting yourself out there. Really fucking brave.”

He shakes his head, a few drops of moisture from his hair hitting her in the face, before turning to her.

“Thank you, Rey.”

She can’t tell if he actually believes her, so she does what she wanted to do earlier at the airport. She steps behind him and wraps her arms tightly around his middle, hugging him to emphasize her point.

For a second, he tenses, but he quickly melts in her embrace, and after another moment, he turns around so that he can properly return the hug. They stay like that for a long time with their arms wrapped around each other and his chin resting on the top of her head.

Finally, they break apart, and Rey, not in an act of boldness but rather in an act of comfort, reaches up to push some of the damp strands of hair away from his face.

“I’m going to go order Chinese. It’ll be waiting for you when you wake up from your nap.”

“Thank you,” he whispers before clearing his throat.

She then takes a moment to stare into his still too wet, golden brown eyes and says, “You’re brave, Ben. You’re so brave, and I admire you so much for that.”

He offers her the smallest of smiles in response, before she turns and exits the bathroom, now choking back her own tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will likely take two weeks to get up, but who knows? I could have it up by next Sunday!


	6. Chapter 6

Three months pass without Ben going on another date. Since his disastrous weekend with Melody, Ben’s been spending his weekends at the apartment with Rey, and needless to say, Rey has been thrilled to have her best friend back, at least for now.

Most nights are spent ordering takeout, getting pleasantly buzzed on whatever alcohol they have in the house, and playing a board game or watching a movie. Currently, it’s Friday evening, and Rey is scrolling through Netflix, trying to pick out a movie for them to watch when Ben enters the apartment.

“You’re home late,” Rey comments, glancing away from the television to see Ben drop his keys on the table by the door and begin to roll up his sleeves.

“It was a long day,” Ben sighs, collapsing on the couch beside Rey.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he groans. “I’m just so happy this week’s over. I swear my advisor is going to send me into an early grave.”

Rey frowns. She’s heard him complain about his advisor for years now, and she can’t help but hate the man even though she’s never met him.

“I’m sorry. Want me to pour you a glass of wine?”

“ _Please_.”

Rey chuckles as she gets up and goes to the kitchen. She quickly grabs two glasses, pours a generous amount in both glasses, and brings them back over to Ben.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, taking the glass and immediately taking a big gulp.

“You’re welcome,” she responds, settling back down on the couch.

They sip their wine in comfortable silence while Rey continues to scroll through Netflix. Finally, a movie catches her eye that both sounds interesting and that she’s almost certain neither of them has seen.

“How about _Zodiac?”_

“I think I’m ready to get back out there.”

Her question and his statement come out simultaneously. Trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her gut, she turns to face him and finds him already looking at her, his cheeks a little pink.

“Get back out there…?”

“Dating,” he clarifies, running a hand through his hair. “I think I’m ready to put myself out there again.”

“Oh.” Rey does her best to sound chipper. “That’s great, Ben. Good for you.”

“Yeah,” he says thoughtfully. “I think I’m going to redownload the apps and maybe join a couple websites as well—you know, the ones you pay for? They’ve got to be pretty good if they feel like they can charge money, right?”

“Right,” Rey mutters, before she can consciously modulate her voice.

Ben quirks an eyebrow. “What?”

“Nothing. I think that sounds good. Now, do you want to watch _Zodiac?_ ”

His eyes track her face for a long moment, as if searching for something, and a slight frown falls across his face.

“Zodiac’s fine,” he says after a moment. “Let me just go change first.”

He leaves the room, and Rey lets the last few minutes sink in. The last three months with Ben have been some of the best of their friendship. But now he says he’s ready to start dating again, and he wants to use all those fancy dating sites with those sophisticated and _successful_ algorithms. And as much as Rey would like to believe those sites are a joke, she knows enough people who have had success with them to know that they’re not.

And that’s what scares the hell out of her.

She can’t continue sitting in the apartment night after night as Ben goes out looking for the love of his life. Not when Ben is the love of _her_ life.

She hears his bedroom door open, and she stands from the couch, a rush of adrenaline surging through her, thankfully drowning out most of the nerves buzzing underneath.

“Let’s go out tonight,” she blurts out.

He gives her a confused look and then looks down at his sweatpants. “I literally just changed, Rey.”

Rey shakes her head and takes a deep breath, trying again. “What I meant to say was, let me take you out tonight.”

Ben is silent for a second, his eyes once again searching her face for something, and all Rey can do is stand there nervously, her eyes pleading with him as she waits for him to say _anything._

“Okay,” he says, nodding slowly. “What did you have in mind?”

“Something nice,” she responds vaguely, not really having gotten that far in her mind. “Dinner somewhere nice.”

It’s then that Ben grins. It’s a slow, hesitant thing, but it’s there, and Rey can feel some of her anxiety melt.

“Yeah, okay,” he agrees. “Let me just go change. _Again_.”

The last word is said with fond exasperation, and Rey giggles in response.

“I’ll have to change too. Meet you back out here in thirty?”

His whole face is lit up with a smile now. “Sounds good.”

Thirty minutes later, Rey emerges from her room, wearing an A-line forest green dress with spaghetti straps. She’d curled her hair and put on a thin layer of makeup as well, all with the hope of conveying to Ben that this, to her, is a date.

When she steps into the living room, she finds him already there, leaning against the couch and dressed handsomely in a crisp white Oxford shirt and navy-blue chinos.

“You look great,” he tells her.

She blushes. “Thank you. So do you.”

“Thanks,” he replies, also a little pink in the face. “I was thinking Angelo’s. Does that sound good?”

“It sounds great.”

“And it’s my treat, okay?”

“What? No! I asked you. It’s my treat!”

“Rey,” he says, his voice soft and calm. He takes a step toward her. “Is this a date?”

Rey inhales a sharp breath. “Yes. I’d like for it to be.”

“Then let me pay. You have _no idea_ how long I’ve wanted to take you on a date.”

She’s flabbergasted. “Wait? What? Seriously _?_ ”

He chuckles and then takes her hand, a gesture that feels instantly _right._ “We can talk about it at dinner. C’mon, I’ll drive.”

The drive to the restaurant involves lots of shy smiles and covert glances and very little actual conversation.

It’s only once they’ve ordered and are waiting for their food that Ben talks.

“So, what inspired this decision?” he asks, getting straight to the point.

“I got scared,” she answers honestly.

His brow furrows. “Scared?”

“I was afraid you’d go on one of those sites and meet someone. And that this time, it wouldn’t end in just one bad date.”

“So, you asked me out?”

She bites her lip as her cheeks go pink. “Yes.”

He still looks confused though. “Rey, I’m so glad you did. But I guess I’m wondering…why this has never happened before?”

“Because I didn’t think you were interested.”

“I’ve _always_ been interested,” he says fiercely, taking her hand from where it rests on the white clothed table. “The only reason I never said anything is because you never did. You never really showed any interest in dating, so I guess I figured you weren’t really interested in that.”

“That’s because I had no interest in dating someone that wasn’t you,” she tells him. And then disappointedly, she adds, “And because, like I told you months ago, I’m a coward.”

“Oh, _Rey_ ,” he says softly.

She lets out a watery chuckle. “ _Ben.”_

“We’re a mess,” he laughs, as he reaches across the table to swipe at a tear that has fallen from her eyes.

The rest of dinner is spent reminiscing about their early days together and revealing when they respectively fell for one another. It’s so cathartic to be able to talk about all of this openly, and Rey feels as if a boulder that’s been weighing on her shoulder for _years_ has suddenly been lifted.

Eventually, their waitress has to ask them to leave as the establishment is closing for the evening, and they walk to Ben’s car hand-in-hand. Ever the gentleman, Ben goes to grab the passenger’s side of the car for Rey, but as he does, Rey, struck with a desire that can’t be repressed any longer, spins him around to face her and throws her arms around his neck.

Her hazel eyes meet his brown ones, and for a second, they just stare at each other, drinking in the excitement and anticipation of the moment. Then, at the exact same time, they lean forward and close the distance between them.

Kissing Ben is better than Rey could have ever imagined—and she’s definitely imagined it. And to her slight surprise and absolute delight, there’s no hesitation as they figure out how to kiss each other. Rey easily sinks into Ben’s strong embrace as he almost instantly deepens the kiss.

Time passes, though Rey has no concept of just how much, and eventually, the kiss becomes less passionate and more tender until it devolves into short, affectionate pecks. When Rey finally pulls back to get a look at Ben’s expression, what she sees is nothing short of joyous.

It’s early—only their first date after all—but Rey has a good feeling that tonight is Ben’s last ever first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!
> 
> If you're interested in a historical/fantasy, please check out my new fic [Falling For Me!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26021473/chapters/63272530)

**Author's Note:**

> My plan is to update every Sunday. See you then!
> 
> Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/castles_crowns) and/or [Tumblr!](https://castles-and-crowns.tumblr.com)


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